Dig Deep to Dig Out

“Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.” (Pr 20:5 AV)

This is a difficult proverb because of the meaning of the word ‘counsel.’  Some believe this counsel is the designs of the heart.  Plans that a wicked person may be making.  But the word actually means advice.  Now, there are two ways of looking at this.  The counsel one needs might be hidden deep in one’s own heart and a person of understanding knows how to help such a one discover what he knew all along.  Or, it could be the man of understanding is in need of counsel and he knows how to ask the right questions of the one who has the counsel to give.  Either way, the understanding of knowing what questions to ask is a skill those of us who desire to help others, or desire to gain help for ourselves, could learn.

I have a son who does not open up easily. When he was younger, it was quite a feat to help him.  On several occasions, it was clear that there was something bothering him.  Bothering him bad.  On those occasions, I would ask him of the nature of the problem and he would answer with one word. “Nothing”.  Clearly there was something. Not until I told him I was not leaving or ceasing to inquire until he told me, did he finally relent.  Sometimes, this took more than an hour.  His counsel was like a deep water.  It took patience and wisdom to draw it out.

Then there are the vast majority of people who come to a pastor for help.  Generally, they know what they need to do.  They just need someone to help them come to terms with what they already know deep within their heart.  Rarely does the counselor need to give a direct answer to a problem.  By asking the right questions, the counselor helps the counseled to come to the conclusion himself.  That way, it becomes the answer of the counseled and not the answer provided for by the counselor.  As parents, we often want to give a quick answer to a question our children have.  Lost is the art of mentoring.  Taking the time to lead a child to the answer he already knows makes the lesson stick!  Take the time.  Draw it out.  That soul shall be helped far more than one who was simply told.