We All Need a Faithful Friend

“Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.” (Ps 141:5 AV)

The later part of the verse refers to the future.  The former, the present.  The Psalmist desires correction from those who are the righteous.  He welcomes criticism.  He welcomes an unbiased and pure eye to examine his life to be sure that he is right with God lest the desire for justice is marred by his own self-righteousness.  He takes solace in the justice of God.  He knows the LORD will judge those who have caused him harm.  He leaves that with the LORD.  Now, he desires correction from his fellow saints.  He calls this correction a kindness.  He refers to is as an excellent oil.  Just an aside – the word ‘…break…’ means to frustrate or discourage.  In other words, the welcomed criticism of friends will not be a mental or emotional discouragement to him.  Quite the opposite.

Being a pastor can be a lonely place.  Our friends are few.  Even more to the point, those friends who can evaluate us and help us in our walk with God are fewer.  Sometimes we get to independent for our own good.  No one is implying we compromise for the sake of fellowship. We can fellowship while at the same time adhering to our core values and doctrines.  Each state, for the most part, has a fellowship of churches and pastors who regularly encourage and challenge one another.  There are some areas of our country where that not the case.  It is so unfortunate.  Here in Wisconsin, there is a healthy and strong organization of independent Baptist preachers who meet once a month for a time of fellowship and encouragement.  We may not all agree on every nuance of doctrine, but the union that is shared in our mutual relationship in Christ in invaluable.  We need one another.  We need the correction which we can afford one another.

But this desire goes much deeper than mere fellowship.  It goes deeper than mere acquaintance.  The Psalmist desires friends who love him and can minister to his spiritual needs by being a voice of challenge and correction.  This takes vulnerability.  This takes a commitment of time.  This takes a desire to be just as much a receiver of correction as it does a giver of it.  I had that in Kentucky.  A good friend with whom I hunted.  He was a church member.  But it was possible to be transparent with him without affecting my ministry.  He was able to ask me questions that ministered to my needs.  We need that.  When we do not have it, we miss it.