The Six Hardest Words To Say

 “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” (Eph 4:32 AV)

Forgiving one another implies that everyone needs forgiveness.  It also implies that everyone needs to forgive.  Dwell on that for a moment.  Paul is correctly stating we all are the offended as well as the offender.  To correctly function as a church body, the individual members must understand no one is perfect.  Including self.  Which also means we have unnecessarily offended a brother or sister in the LORD.  Yes, we are wrong!  That is a hard pill to swallow.  One of the hardest things to say is, “I was wrong. Please forgive me.”

 Years ago, there was a problem in a church.  It had the potential of being a church split kind of problem.  We had talked about forgiveness and the need to apologize.  One of the individuals involved didn’t think there was anything for which she needed to apologize.  First off, that is almost always untrue.  Unless one was sitting at a light, stopped at a red light and gets rear-ended (or something similar), there is usually something we can find for which we can apologize.  This is particularly true in relationships – no matter how cordial or deep – there is something we have done wrong.  Either intentionally or unintentionally, we all make missteps.  Anyway, we talked about this and we discovered the biggest hindrance to forgiveness is pride, coupled with our sense of fairness or justice.  This situation exploded and resulted in some leaving the church while others stayed.  Relationships were severed because no one was willing to say three simple words.  “I am sorry.”

 I have this habit.  I’ve discovered it comes from the culture of my home state.  We tend to preface a hard to hear statement with the words “I’m sorry, but…”.  If one is not used to it, one would assume we are needlessly apologizing for things of which we should not feel the need to apologize.  This is not what we are doing we are trying to soften an otherwise harsh statement of opinion, truth, or reality.  It doesn’t change anything other than the disposition of the one what is the receiver of this truth, opinion, or reality.  We are not apologizing for the reality.  We are empathizing with the need to be confronted with something that might be uneasy.  It still happens in my preaching and people think I am apologizing for saying something truthful.  But I am not.  I am empathizing with the impact of what I am saying on the condition of their lives.  I would rather apologize than seem uncaring.  This is the spirit which Paul is striving after here.  A readiness of mind and heart to seek and be sought of for forgiveness.  We do not have a problem thinking others owe us an apology.  But I wonder how our churches would be if we had a readiness of mind to ask for forgiveness no matter how deeply we feel we are to blame.  So, what!  Ask for grace and forgiveness because no one is perfect.