Let It Go Lest You Are Hated

“Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: rebuke a wise man, and he will love thee.” (Pr 9:8 AV)

 

What is really interesting here is that reproving a scorner ends in that scorner hating the reprover.  But isn’t scorning essentially hate speech?  Why would reproving a scorner cause him to hate you?  Does he not already hate that which he is scorning?  The word for scorning here means, “to boast; to scorn; to mock, deride; to be inflated, show oneself a mocker”.  It would seem someone like that would not care that much for what he is mocking and hates what he does not respect.  The proverb also implies the purpose of interaction here is to establish, maintain, or grow an existing relationship.  I think, one of the truths we can take away from this proverb is just because someone is a scorner does not mean it is personal.  It may not mean he hates you personally.  Disrespect and hatred are two different things.  A scorner may mock and belittle, but that doesn’t mean he hates.  However, if we get our gander up and reprove him, scorning will turn to hatred.

I go door-to-door soul-winning almost every week.  I have done soul-winning in many different communities and several states.  Depending on the state, the reaction can be pretty predictable.  In the northeast, hostility is not unusual.  In the south, more times than not, you are welcomed.  In the Midwest, it is a mixed bag.  For the most part, people are cordial.  But every once in a while, you get a scorner.  It doesn’t happen very often, but it does happen.  I have been out with many different partners.  Almost all have been appropriate and respectful.  However, every once in a while, I will make calls with someone who is a bit more aggressive than need be.  Many years ago, on one particular outing, it started out ok but turned into a disaster.  The partner I went with was inexperienced and super aggressive.  We had gone to a certain house and the conversation started out amiable.  However, the more my partner pressed, the worse the conversation became.  He ended up offending this person.  It turned out it was a close relative of our pastor who the pastor was working on and because of our visit, would never darken the doors of our church. 

It is unfortunate, but in order to establish a relationship with someone who is a scorner, it may be best to let it slide right off your back.   Scorning is nothing more than emotional ranting.  Seldom is it based solely on reason.  If we reprove a scorner, all we are doing is responding in kind.  It is hard to let things roll off one’s back.  Especially if we are being attacked.  The directness of the attack makes us want to lash out with equal force.  Even if the scorning has no basis in reality, we still have to fight the temptation to say something in return.  Solomon, in his wisdom, is telling his children refraining from responding to a scorner is the better part of valor.  Perhaps he was remembering how David dealt with Shimei.  He was the one who cast stones and scorned David as David fled from Absalom.  He left Shimei alone and allowed Solomon to deal with him.  David showed the wisdom which Solomon later acted upon and which Solomon is not advising his children who will follow him in government.  Just allow the scorners to scorn.  Responding in kind will only cause them to turn their scorn into hate.