Unwilling But Able

“For if I do this thing willingly, I have a reward: but if against my will, a dispensation of the gospel is committed unto me.” (1Co 9:17 AV)

 

I always thought that underlined phrase to be an odd one.  Especially as a younger preacher, I thought “who wouldn’t want to preach?”  Isn’t ministry always a passion and full of blessings?  Aren’t there rainbows and sunshine each and every time we share the gospel with those who know not Him?  Don’t we walk away from ministry with nothing but cheerfulness in each and every situation?  I thought that every time someone would impose on us our time, knowledge, or support we would jump at the change no matter the time or situation.  Apparently, there are times when it didn’t quite work for Paul.  There were times when it was perfect.  The right situation at the right time and he was all in.  There were others times when ministry was not something he was willing to do.  This is not to say he didn’t do it.   But this verse and the previous one tell us his motive for fulfilling his calling at the most inconvenient times, places, and situations.  He had a dispensation.  It was committed to him.  Not to do as he felt he could, but to perform as the LORD would require.

In ministry, you have bad days, bad weeks, bad months, and even bad years.  I have been through a few of those.  I have had Sundays when I didn’t want to go to church.  And I was the preacher!  There were several months I dreaded seeing people.  Whether it was church issues or personal trials, I wished I could crawl into a hole somewhere never to escape.  There are times of deep personal trials as when my firstborn was prediagnosed with a condition he never ended up with.  There are times when turmoil has gripped the body of Christ or personal attacks seem unbearable.  There are other times when the situation may not be as dire as the above, but the timing is not all that good.  I had the privilege of officiating the wedding of all three of my sons.  It was at those weekends when serious ministry in my church had to be done.  The churches were on the verge of coming apart and I was supposed to be wrapped up in the special weekend of my sons and their future wives.  Ministry seldom comes at a convenient moment.  Our calling is not a 9-5 schedule.  We are called upon in the middle of the night or away from a family function.  Or, perhaps we are simply worn out and in desperate need of a vacation.  We haven’t had one in years.  Then, ministry comes.

I guess reading this passage, it both comforts and challenges me in a personal way.  It comforts me to see the greatest preacher the world has ever known offers ministry when it is not in ideal conditions.  It comforts me to think of the most well-known missionary may have had times when offering his services to the people of God, he was not all in.  At least when he began to minister.  Recently, we say with an oncologist who is treating my wife.  As we sat and listened to her explaining the coming surgery and treatment, I found myself growing grateful for all that she sacrificed to help someone in our situation.  She did so as if Lisa was the only patient she had.  There was nothing of her own personal troubles or trials in her voice.  She carried herself as if she was having a great day every day of her life.  I know it took almost twenty years of school and training to get where she is today.  In those twenty years, she endured great hardships of her own.  I also know she doesn’t have a perfect life.  No one does.  But you wouldn’t know it.  She served us as though we were her only appointment and we were the only ones who would garner all of her attention.  She came in super early and left after hours.  Her dedication astounds me.  We are called to minister to the lost and the saved.  We don’t get to fill in our timesheet.  There may be a knock at the door.  There may be a call in the middle of the night.  There may be times when it is super inconvenient.  But it is when we must remember there is a dispensation committed to us and it must be done.