Undisciplined Speech Brings Problems

“Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.” (Pr 21:23 AV)

 

What an appropriate verse for a preacher on a Sunday!  For someone who is called to a calling that requires verbal communication, this verse is especially important.  I have learned many things.  One of those things is when your calling or occupation requires public communication, the audience often hangs on every word and the gift of communication is essential.  To be able to express exactly what the LORD has laid on one’s heart without messing it up is a task larger than most can comprehend.  Every detail and every nuance of speech is examined under the most illuminating of microscopes and often the speaker finds himself in trouble because of a misspeak.  Perhaps he forgot context and made a statement, that in his own mind, was established in a certain context, yet because that context was never expounded, was taken differently by discerning ears.  Perhaps there was a certain level of familiarity with the topic at hand that was expected of the hearers which actually didn’t exist.  What the speaker says is understood differently than intended.  Or, perhaps a bias or cultural distinction is assumed that is not present.  There can be a misunderstanding.

Being a Yankee and serving in the south was a great education on communication for me.  I learned a lot.  But what I learned most was how much I didn’t know.  If you ever need to be taught in the art of communication, spend a decade or more in the classical south.  Listening will teach a world of discipline and the appropriateness of speech like no other experience.  Having said that, I can say this.  When I took that pastorate, I stressed my style of communication was vastly different than what they were used to.  For instance, when a Yankee says something, he means exactly what he says and no other.  He is not inferring anything.  What he says is the inference.  He is blunt and open.  When he is done, there need be no more words.  In the south, not so much.  This caused some trouble for me.  I often found myself needlessly offending my audience.  I had to learn to keep my mouth and tongue lest I cause trouble upon me.  And that I did quite frequently.  I remember saying that it wouldn’t take long before I unknowingly offended everyone.  Not on purpose, mind you.  Rather, because I lacked the right discipline to keep myself out of trouble.  The mouth and tongue are often the cause of our own troubles.  It isn’t someone else.  It is what we say.  Or don’t say.  We heap trouble upon ourselves and blame others when in reality it was the use of our own tongue that caused it.

The word ‘…keepeth…’ does not mean to keep the mouth closed.  Rather, the word means to build a hedge about; to guard; to protect, or to attend to.  In other words, Solomon is not instructing his son to be silent.  Rather, he is instructing his son to discipline the tongue so the words he speaks do not come back on him and cause him trouble.  Our emotional society believes to express oneself verbally is the answer to solving problems.  To blurt out what we think or how we feel on the impulse of emotion is totally acceptable.  It is like we are living in a sport’s stadium where we feel we can yell out anything that makes us feel better, be it good or bad.  Solomon is instructing us to do just the opposite.  Think of the hedge.  It is built to keep things both in and out.  There is space.  But the hedge is a barrier of discouragement.  Before I say anything, the words and thoughts which I intend to speak should be given the hedge of time to meditate upon the appropriateness of the words I am about to utter.  Do I really want them to go beyond the hedge where I no longer have control over them?  That is the question.  Do I really want my thoughts and feelings out there where others can consider them in the context of their own understanding and misunderstand what it was I was trying to say?  That hedge of time is a buffer that keeps me from the trouble that will most assuredly come if there is no discipline of speech.  We have trouble because we bring it upon ourselves.  I have trouble because I don’t stop and think about what I am about to say before I say it.