Friendship Is Conditional

“Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.” (Joh 15:14 AV)

If meditated upon, this verse could really hurt.  The saint desires to be a friend of God.  We want that affirmation.  We need that affirmation.  What we fail to realize is friendship is more then mere feeling.  Friendship is not reduced to a simple emotional experience.  Friendship has far more to do with loyalty and common interests than a feeling of desire for companionship.  Friendship means keeping in mind the best interests of the one with whom we desire to befriend.  Friendship goes beyond a hug or a handshake.  It goes beyond knowing things about one another.  Friendship even goes beyond mere communication.  Friendship requires a commitment based upon mutual sacrifice and self-denial.  When we are turned down, it hurts deeply.  Specially if the one whom we desired to befriend was highly regarded.  The words above can sting.  And they should.  For we cannot be a friend of Jesus if we will not obey His commandments.  All of them.

I know a thing or two when it comes to friendships.  Not having a whole lot of friends during my childhood, I know the importance of having friends.  I know what it feels like to deeply desire friends but experiencing rejection far too often.  In part, lack of friendship was due to my personality.  By nature, I am a loner.  By nature, I am an introvert.  This is no excuse.  When I was young, I also did not go along with all those things the popular kids did.  I was too scared of what my father would think.  All this did not mean friendships were not desired.  I yearned for friendships.  Through the years I have had some.  Not many, but the ones I have had were intimate and lasting.  To be accepted is so important.  I will not lie to you.  Being rejected hurt.  One of those times was during my freshman year of high school.  Desperate to fit in, I went to the home coming float project.  Glad to see me volunteer, the girl in charge put me to work.  But I was all alone, in a corner, making flowers out of Kleenex or something of the sort.  People were not mean.  They were cordial.  But none took the time to talk with me and visit while I worked.  I was greatly disappointed.

For the Creator of the universe to refuse friendship has to hurt even more.  Knowing He withholds friendship because we do not respect His wishes should hurt.  The deep and cutting feeling of rejection should sting a bit.  If we are living in disobedience to the word of God and not feel a sense of estrangement from our Savior because of it, then we are either too emotionally calloused to care, or not saved at all.  There is no other way to say it but that rejection of friendship should sting.  It should sting badly.  Badly enough to want to change direction and walk in obedience to the word of God.  Many false professions are made on the stage of an emotional experience all the while living in opposition to the revealed word of God, yet claiming friendship with the God whom they claim to worship.  This is simply impossible.  It doesn’t matter what we profess or feel.  We cannot take friendship.  It has to be given.  It will only be given when we live in obedience.