Discerning Listening Takes Patience, Grace, Compassion, and Faith

“Do ye imagine to reprove words, and the speeches of one that is desperate, which are as wind?” (Job 6:26 AV)

Even Job knew that he was ranting.  Imagine losing what Job lost and now, sitting in pain as he scrapes off the boils from his skin.  Imagine what might be the thoughts of one’s mind as he asks the eternal question, ‘why’.  Why did God allow this?  What did I do to merit such circumstances?  If God was pleased with my life in serving Him faithfully, what would be the cause for such circumstances?  If my end was to be total destruction and all that I worked so hard for is gone, they what eternal purpose did my life serve anyway?  If my life made no difference at all, why create me to begin with?  These questions are raging through the mind and heart of Job.  He verbalizes them.  The problem is, his counselors are taking his words far to seriously.  Job knows that he is merely venting.  He has not lost his faith in God.  He is expressing how he feels and it was not a representation of the events from God’s point of view.  Job’s question above is simple.  Do you intend to correct my words when you know that I am just venting?  Sometimes, there is cause for correction.  Other times, there is cause for letting them pass.  Knowing the difference will result in better ministry for those who are going through severe trials.

There is a blessing in being removed from a situation.  One can look at it without the emotions taking over.  We can go into a patience’s room and take note of his suffering, but also know that even though he thinks his life is coming to an end, because of our training and experience, know that he will be ok.  If that is the case, then we can filter through his emotional pain to see a way out that he may not be able to see.  When we counsel a marriage that is falling apart, we often hear rather vitriol or desperate remarks, but because we have been there dozens of times and helped several couples navigate these troubled waters, we know they we make it.  By God’s grace, there will be a time of healing.  God will see them through this.  The things they have just shared are their perception of what they are experiencing.  It may or may not be an accurate representation of the situation.

There have been times when correct, or as Job says, reproof, is necessary.  It is one thing to let a comment pass that isn’t totally true and are confident that in time, the sufferer will change their feelings or thinking.  However, there are times when a line is crossed.  That line is a line which will result in greater harm.  This line is a line that results is greater self-inflicted damage.  For instance, there are several times that Job mentioned he wished he would up and die.  He never threatened suicide.  If he did, that would be a line he would cross.  If a patient refuses treatment that will cure him because he thinks there is no hope, that is a line that is crossed.  If a spouse becomes vindictive, that is a line that is crossed.  Reproof is necessary.  Watch for that line.  But know what to let slide for the time being, because the sufferer just may change his or her attitude after the ordeal is complete.