Reconcilable Differences

“But if any have caused grief, he hath not grieved me, but in part: that I may not overcharge you all. Sufficient to such a man is this punishment, which was inflicted of many. So that contrariwise ye ought rather to forgive him, and comfort him, lest perhaps such a one should be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow. Wherefore I beseech you that ye would confirm your love toward him. For to this end also did I write, that I might know the proof of you, whether ye be obedient in all things. To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.” (2Co 2:5-11 AV)

 

The person to whom Paul is referring is the incestuous man disciplined from church membership in his previous letter.  This young man was living in fornication with his stepmother.  The church, rather than dealing with it, actually boasted about it.  When Paul addressed the utter wickedness of this relationship, the church disciplined this young man and removed him from membership.  Now, Paul addresses the process of reconciliation.  Church discipline is not intended to completely and forever remove a member.  It is for the purpose of correction and reconciliation.  They are told to forgive him and comfort him.  If they do not, the estrangement may swallow him up into spiritual defeat.  They are told to confirm their love for him.  The most pertinent of points here is the lack of reconciliation is referred to as a device of the devil.  This will be a tough one this morning.  Reconciliation is the spirit of the ministry of Christ.  Jesus came to reconcile the sinner to God.  If we refuse to reconcile with those who we have parted, then we are accomplishing just the opposite.

Estrangement happens quite frequently in a house full of children.  Siblings can be rather cruel sometimes.  The times we ignored a sibling are far too numerous to remember a single event.  This happens in school classes all the time as well.  Someone is guilty of a minor infraction and the whole class is set against him or her.  If this becomes a pattern, then this classmate is a loner for his entire scholastic career.   With my siblings, spite was the most frequent motivator.  Perhaps we were playing and one of us didn’t play well with another.  The group would shun him or her.  It had to happen.  It is a proper and right response to bad behavior.  This shunning is meant to correct misdeeds and force the offender to comply.  As children, we take it one step further.  The punishment is often more severe than the crime.  We don’t talk to him or her.  We organize a new activity or game and do not include him or her.  Even after they apologize, our sibling is out of the circle of friendship.  If Mom got wind of it, she put a prompt stop to it.  No excuses.  It didn’t matter what our sibling did, enough was enough.  Our erring sibling had to be included in whatever we were doing or were going to do.  And, it had to be unconditional.  Punishing a sibling greater than the crime was cruel and tantamount to emotional torture.

No doubt this young man’s sin was serious.  To live together out of wedlock is bad enough.  But to do so with your father’s wife is immensely worse.  No matter the sin, however, the church is commanded to reconcile.  This does not mean the church is to look the other way.  They are to call out those in serious sin and seek confession before all.  If that occurs, then there must be reconciliation.  At the risk of offending, I will say this command to reconcile is not limited to church discipline issues.  We are commanded to forgive and reconcile and a pattern of Christian living.  We are told to seek unity and mutual care one for another.  No one can undo the offense that occurred.  No doubt, it stung.  But that does not give us the right to remain estranged from those who have offended.  We are commanded to forgive as Christ has forgiven us.  Paul takes it a step further here.  We are to affirm our love to the one who has offended us.  It is not enough to let sleeping dogs lie and avoid those who have offended.  We are to take the initiative and express our love to the one who has done the wrong.  This is exactly what Jesus means when He tells us to turn the other cheek.  We offer ourselves in such a way that more injury just might be possible.  Now, here is the really difficult part.  To refuse to do so is a device of the devil.  To refuse to reconcile is akin to what the devil might do.  Churches often fall to great conditions of disrepair because grudges persist.  Families fall apart because spouses refuse to reconcile.  Siblings become estranged because they refuse to talk to one another.  Irreconcilable differences are a device of the devil and we need to forsake it lest what we have is lost.