Three Motives For Children

“As ye know how we exhorted and comforted and charged every one of you, as a father doth his children, That ye would walk worthy of God, who hath called you unto his kingdom and glory.” (1Th 2:11-12 AV)

 

A bit of advice this morning.  There is no perfect parent.  No perfect father outside of our heavenly Father.  Regardless of how well we tried to parent, there were times we failed.  In the above example, Paul tells us three motivations a father will use to encourage correct behavior in his children.  They are exhortation, comfort, and charging.  To exhort means, “to console, to encourage and strengthen by consolation, to comfort.”  To comfort here means, “to speak to, address one, whether by way of admonition and incentive or to calm and console.” And to charge means, “to affirm that one has seen or heard or experienced something, or that he knows it because taught by divine revelation or inspiration.”  To charge here means to testify to the appropriateness of the instruction, to the ability of the one be charged to accomplish it, and to the direct challenge to do so.  What we do not see is badgering, discouraging, or disparaging a child.  We see positive reinforcement and believing in that child so he will grow up to be that which God desires.  This affirmation is so important to the development of the one under authority that without it, he will more than likely be a habitual underachiever.

I have had several years of experience helping parents with their children.  The more I help them, the more I am aware these skills are lacking.  Positive reinforcement does not mean a parent tolerates bad behavior or refuses to correct and chasten.  God does that for us all the time.  What it does mean is the parent is emotionally vested in the outcome of his child and invests his time and patience helping that child grow in the nurture and admonition of the LORD.  Many parents lack this spirit and the skills that accompany them.  Too much yelling.  Too many insulting remarks.  Too much disrespect.  Too much parental laziness.  This goes for anyone in authority.  This goes for teachers, pastors, counselors, or anyone in a place to influence another.

When we think of how God deals with us, our history often defines our experience.  If we have not had the pleasure of an authority figure who used these three motives effectively, we may have the wrong outlook on how God deals with us.  God does the same.  He exhorts, comforts, and charges us.  The man of God must do the same.  The parents must also master these skills.  If we cannot see the LORD in these areas, it is because we lack the experience to recognize them.  The key is to rely on the Holy Spirit and ask Him to help you see the exhortation, comfort, and instruction of the LORD.  It is there.  God loves us with an everlasting love.  God loves us more than we can understand.  He loves us with unlimited and unconditional love.  He affirms us because His Son died for us and made us in His image.  These truths of affirmation and acceptance are necessary if we are ever going to walk worthy of the God who saved us.