Mistrust, or Love?

“And Jonathan caused David to swear again, because he loved him: for he loved him as he loved his own soul.” (1Sa 20:17 AV)

 

Does anyone else find this odd?  One would think that if two people really loved one another, then reaffirming an oath would not be necessary.  Or even more strange is how forcing someone you love to reaffirm an oath is considered an act of love.  The covenant between the two was a promise on Jonathan’s part that he would let no harm come to David and he would do everything in his power to see David ascend to the throne.  In return, David promised to protect the house of Jonathan.  Even to his offspring in a perpetual promise.  This love they shared was meant to protect one another against potential threats.  Again, one may find this odd that two men who cared as deeply as they did for one another would be motivated by love and ask the other to reaffirm this oath.  In fact, one would think as deep as their love was, there wouldn’t be a need for an oath at all.  Right?  If I deeply love someone, I would seek their protection.  I would try to do all I could do to help him and keep him out of harm’s way.  And I wouldn’t have to make a promise.  It would be automatic.  However, relationships don’t work that way.

When I made my wedding vows to the most wonderful woman on the planet, I promised to do some things.  I promised to love, honor, and cherish her.  I promised to remain faithful.  I promised all my worldly goods to her and I promised all that I am or ever will be.  These promises were based on several factors.  My love for her was only one of those factors.  When I married my best friend, I did so because God told me to.  I knew she was God’s will for me and regardless of how I may feel at any moment, I would be in disobedience if I didn’t marry her and honor those vows.  I also made those vows because I knew emotions can fluctuate.  In the weakness of my own flesh, I may not feel like honoring them.  My flesh or temperament may get in the way and challenge those vows.  But I made a promise.  Although my lovely bride and I have never, nor will ever, renew our vows, that doesn’t mean we never do.  We may never have a ceremony.  Nor do we need one.  We affirm these vows every day.  Why?  Because we love one another.  It is not because we mistrust one another.  Rather, reaffirming a promise is an act of love.  This is what Jonathan required of David and himself.  A reaffirmation of a covenant as an expression of love.

We make many agreements with the people closest to us.  As a pastor, I promised to pastor the sheep God gave me.  I didn’t get to pick my sheep.  And I am glad I didn’t.  Pastoring is not for the faint of heart.  There are times when caring for the sheep strains those promises.  However, love means there is a reaffirmation of the vows I took almost forty years ago.  Being a husband and a father is not easy.  There are times when the promises we made become a challenge.  Yet, it is in the midst of these challenging times God requires of us to express our love by reaffirming our commitment we made decades ago.  Building relationships means we make promises and we keep those promises as an expression of our love.  Emotion is fickle.  True love is not mere emotion.  True love is sacrifice and commitment.  This is what Jonathan is driving at.  Mistrust of David was the furthest thing on his mind.  Jonathan was putting his own life at risk for the sake of God’s anointed.  He would eventually fall by the sword to protect his best friend.  Sacrifice and commitment are the bedrock of a relationship and not emotion.  Therefore, for the sake of love, make a promise and keep to it.