They Mean Well

“Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.” (Ps 141:5 AV)

Here is a beautiful picture of mutual correction and support.  This is how the body of Christ should work.  Iron should sharpen iron.  Our psalmist is pointing out the advantage of a friendly face correcting the erring one as opposed to an unfriendly face.  In particular, the phrase “which shall not break my head” should speak volumes to the one being corrected and the one doing the correcting.  The correction of the righteous should be for reconciliation and restoration.  The smiter should not smite so the errant is powerless to reform.  On the other hand, the errant should not fear the correction of the righteous.  It is often sharper than correction from the wicked because the wicked wish the errant to be like them.  The correction of the righteous should smart.  It should sting.  The difference is the smiting of the righteous is done in love.  Whereas the smiting of the wicked is either done in vengeance or not at all.

I can remember some of the times when a mature believer corrected me and it was not comfortable.  I have relayed some of them.  There were times when I was not living right.  There were other times when I wasn’t seeing things right.  Then there were the times I made decisions that were not the wisest and I couldn’t see it.  I am sure I shared this, but it bears repeating.  I add a bit of a twist to it.  Prior to getting married, I had to quit my job because my boss was unreasonable, unethical, and insulted my wife.  That led me to almost nine months of consistent employment.  One of the jobs I tried was selling devices installed on HVAC units that cycled them on and off while calling for heat or air.  Rather than the unit running constantly until the thermostat was satisfied.  I thought if I could sell a bunch to my church and they worked, there was the possibility of selling to hundreds of households.  I went to the business manager and presented my product.  He knew my wife because she was his secretary before marrying her.  He gave me a reaming-out like I have never had before.  He was a mechanical engineer by trade and taught me why these devices would not work and actually would cause great damage to the unit.  Then he reamed me out again because I was studying for the ministry at the time and to him, this was giving up on my calling.  It hurt.  It stung.  But he did it in love.

We will seek the easiest course possible.  We avoid the hard things.  We should not be apprehensive of the correction which comes from those who love us.  We should welcome it.  It may hurt a bit, but it will not break us.  We may not enjoy it all that much, but it is just what we need.  David knows of what he speaks.  Nathan, his cousin, was the one who rebuked him concerning Bathsheba.  That was much easier to take than Absalom’s rebellion.  It’s not going to kill you to listen to those who know you best and have your best interests at heart.  They mean well.