Complimentary, Not Competitive

“Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.” (1Co 11:11 AV)

 

I think Albert Barnes explains this verse perfectly.  “Lest the man should assume to himself too much superiority, and lest he should regard the woman as made solely for his pleasure, and should treat her as in all respects inferior, and withhold the respect that is due to her. The design of this verse and the following is to show, that the man and woman are united in the most tender interests; that the one cannot live comfortably without the other; that one is necessary to the happiness of the other; and that though the woman was formed from the man, yet it is also to be remembered that the man is descended from the woman. She should therefore be treated with proper respect, tenderness, and regard.”  Chapter eleven deals with hair length as a symbol of societal status.  It was not uncommon for women to disguise themselves as men that they might gain access to political halls and participate in debate.  This even began to infiltrate the church.  The other side of the coin, so to speak, would be for men to think themselves superior.  Hence the verse above.  Each is mutually dependent on and beneficial to, the other.  Responsibility does not suggest superiority.

Many principles and objects of life are designed on the balance counter balance theorem.  Take a forklift, for example.  While under load, there are forces contrary to one another that allows the lift to remain stationary.  The weight of the load is contrary to the counterbalance weights in the chassis.  Or, think of beats in a music score.  There are vacant parts in-between beats.  Some call those spaces, off-beats.  If there were no off-beats, then there would be only one beat.  It is impossible to have more than one beat without an off-beat.  A seesaw would not work unless two weights complimented one another.  Food is often seasoned with two basic seasonings.  It often puzzles me that food needs salt and pepper as basic seasonings.  The point is, God designed life with complementary forces or characteristics that enable life to function and be blessed. When it comes to marriage, it is the ultimate symphony of balance.

In my premarital counseling sessions, I ask the prospective couple to do some homework.  One of the tasks is to list one’s strengths and weaknesses and then apply them to the strengths and weaknesses of their fiancé.  I do this that so when emotions may wane or commitment is challenged, this couple can see why the LORD put them together.  They can go back to the foundation of marriage found in Genesis chapter two.  God made Adam a mate who would be a help to him.  A wife who would compliment him.  Understanding one’s self is the first key to discerning one’s needs for a specific mate.  To that end, I have a confession to make.  As of late, the Holy Spirit has helped me to see, more and more, just how perfect my dear Lisa is for me.  I always knew she was.  She has abilities and personality traits I don’t have and this helps me to do what God has called me to do.  Last night, I was awakened by that irritating need all we of a certain age are inflicted with and lay awake afterward for a few minutes. In that time, I have the habit of reaching over to my wife and holding her hand as I fall back asleep.  In that time, I meditate on just how perfect of a wife my Lisa is to me.  God knew exactly what He was doing when He made her for me.  There isn’t any other soul on the entire planet that could be as perfect as she is for me.  I felt truly blessed.  Yes, I may be the leader in this relationship.  But I need her just as much as she needs me.  Probably even more.  I completely understand the meaning of the verse above.  She may be of me.  But I am just as much of her.  How blessed a man I am!