Leading Means Listening

“Hear counsel, and receive instruction, that thou mayest be wise in thy latter end.” (Pr 19:20 AV)

I have been reminded recently that listening and considering that which we hear is part of leadership.  All too often, we make decisions without taking the time to gather as much input and information as we can before we make a decision.  Sometimes, it works out.  Sometimes, it does not.  When we know exactly what needs to be done and there is no other option, then listening and receiving instruction may not change the outcome, but it does show respect for those who have a differing opinion.  Respect is another trait that is sorely lacking in our society today.  But that was another blog a while back.  Anyway, listening is a valuable habit to form.  We are forced to listen while sitting in the classroom.  Unless the teacher calls on us, we are generally listening to learn and pass our tests.  When it comes to relationships, we are challenged in our listening capabilities.  It is easier to debate than to listen.  Listening requires humility.  Humility is something of which we are in a short supply.  Listening requires the assumption one may not know as much as he thinks and there is value in the thoughts of others.  Listening is one of the wisest practices a leader can exercise.  As he listens, his position is strengthened no matter what he hears.  He is either validated in the course of action he will take, or he modifies it to a stronger position.  Either way, there is everything to gain and nothing to loose in listening.

One of the churches I pastored was a committee run church.  I cannot biblically support that form of Church polity for several reasons.  First and foremost, it is an unbiblical form of church government and affords more authority to the congregation that is not biblically theirs.  Second, it severely hampers the preacher and deacons in their own spiritual maturity and growth as leaders.  Third, it is a tremendously inefficient and slow manner of church polity that seeks consensus above all else without consideration to opportunity, resolve to absolutes over preferences, and politics over principle.  However, there was one great lesson I learned through pastoring this church that I would not have learned any other way.  And, I am eternally grateful for the opportunity to learn this lesson.  The thing about a committee run church is the leadership is forced to listen to all points of view before a decision is made.  No matter the value or validity of the opinion, it was always entertained.  Even if the opinion was misinformed or misguided, it was still on the table.  What I learned was to appreciate the value of the wisdom of the men who shared what they were thinking and offered advice on how to resolve a challenge.  This advice was worth more than gold itself.  During our meetings, it was my job to moderate those meetings and guide the discussion so that we could come to a mutually agreed course of action.  Listening to about twenty men (and sometimes the ladies) discuss and issue, each with an input slightly different than their own revealed to me just how much I didn’t know and how blessed I was to have the experience and talent before me.

We are quick to share our opinion.  If we do listen, it is often with an attitude of patronization.  We listen because we feel we are required to listen.  Or, we hear without listening.  Listening is more than giving an ear.  It is an exercise of mutual respect that says to the other, “Your opinion matters to me, and I will humbly consider your point of view.  If your point of view can help guide my thoughts, then I will humbly consider modifying my opinion.”  I cannot begin to tell the reader how many times I have had a course of action set only to change it by listening to the input of others.  Sometimes, we get this idea that a leader is supposed to stand alone and lead.  We don’t consult our wives, our children, our family, our fellow church members, or our fellow citizens.  We get this idea that to ignore their input means we are a stronger leader.  It takes humility to listen to a subordinate.  Especially if they might be right.  It takes compassion, respect, love, and humility to place on the burner a decision that was already made so that it can be made again with more informed input.  However, the art of listening is more effective if that door swings both ways.  We cannot expect others to listen to us unless we are willing to listen.  If we are not willing to listen, we cannot expect others to listen to us.  Listening.  We need to do more of it.  We need to keep an open mind and remember, unless we are God, we will never have all the information.  We need one another.  We need opposing points of view.  Iron sharpens iron.  That is the only way both can be honed.