A Mother's Grief

“The proverbs of Solomon. A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.” (Pr 10:1 AV)

Mothers and fathers respond differently to the behavior of their children.  It is not that one care more than the other.  We are simply built differently.  The overwhelming meaning of ‘…heaviness…’ here means to grieve.  Scofield has an interesting take on this verse.  He proposes the difference between a wise and foolish son is not necessarily the choices which he makes, but rather, the motive for and nature of those choices.  He references the rich man of Luke 12:16-20 to make his point.  He proposes the difference is their belief in God rather than the nature of the choices he makes apart from faith in God.  In other words, Scofield suggests the foolish are not necessarily mentally deficient or absent of all character or discipline.  Rather, they are arrogant and self-sufficient.  Be that as it may, his insights do shed light on the difference of reaction between a father and mother.  Now, make no mistake, a wise son would make a glad father or mother.  A foolish son would make any parent grieve; mother or father.  But when it comes to the failure of a child to walk with God, mothers tend to take it harder.  At least that has been my observation.

Over the years, I have been asked to help parents with erring children.  These cases are never easy.  As the child approaches adulthood, they spread their wings and test everything they have been taught.  Some are merely trying to find themselves.  They want to embrace their own set of convictions and they see agreeing with those who trained him or her as an absence of individuality.  They want to come up with their own ‘truth’ as though it is theirs to own.  So, they begin the process by rejecting what they have been taught, testing everything under the microscope of experience.  Once they realize a good portion of what they have been taught was true, they systematically embrace the rest.  However, some rebel.  They have found these truths to be self-evident yet believe if they reject them, then they have the mandate to be who they want to be or do what they want to do.  It breaks the heart of his or her parents to see them reject the LORD for mere self-pleasure or self-determination.  What bothers the parent the most is the blessing he or she has enjoyed by walking with God is rejected by the one whom they love the most.  For Mom, it is not necessarily a rejection of truths as it is the rejection of a relationship.  One she has come to treasure herself.

Time and again, I see mother, weeping in the corner over her child.  This child spent countless times praying with his or her mother.  This little man or woman witnessed mother as she spent time in her Bible, heard her pray for her husband and children, and labored tirelessly to prepare her children to walk with God.  She spent hours bathing and dressing her children, preparing them to attend Sunday School and church.  She loaded them in the car as they went off to Vacation Bible School.  She spent all the time necessary to help them memorize their scripture assignments.  She taught them to sing about Jesus.  She sat proudly as her child’s class sang a special in the church; rehearsed memory verses in front of the congregation; or passed out tracts at an event.  She was so proud when they went off on that missions trip.  She spent hours in prayer as they went to Bible camp, praying the LORD would get a hold or their tender heart before the world had a crack at them.  She sat with the widest smile ever as she listened to her child’s testimony as to how the Spirit had done a miracle in their heart.  And, she beamed when it was announced her little one accepted Christ.  Tears of joy trickled down her face as she watches the preacher baptize her child into the fellowship of the saints.  All these things come crashing down when her little one, now all grown up, rejects it all.  She grieves because the child she raised to love the most important One to her is soundly rejected by someone who wants to find themselves apart from the One who created them.  This is the heaviness she bears.  Tears of joy have turned to tears of grief.  To reject the One she loves most hurts more than rejecting her.  So, young lady.  So, young man.  Are you willing to break your mother’s heart for the simple reason of being your own person?  Why not accept Christ or return to Him.  Both He and your mother couldn’t be more pleased.