“Lo, mine eye hath seen all [this], mine ear hath heard and
understood it. What ye know, [the same] do I know also: I [am] not inferior
unto you…O that ye would altogether hold your peace! and it should be your
wisdom.” (Job 13:1-2,5 AV)
My Mom used to say, "if you don't have anything ice to say, don't say anything at all." Perhaps a better way of putting that is, "If you don't have anything worth saying, don't say anything at all." What Job is trying to tell his friends early
on in their discourse is there is nothing which they can share that he doesn’t
know already! He is older and wiser than
them all. He knows the facts of all they
are saying. What he needed was not
declarations of opinions. What he needed
was help from them to draw out what he already knew.
This is the bulk of our counseling. It is not telling people things which they do
not know. The law is written on our
hearts. Most of what we need we already
know because God put it there. Often,
what we need is counselors to draw it out of us.
What Job’s friends should have done was to
ask questions. Help Job overcome his
grief and confusions to begin the process of healing. They should have steered him towards a
resolution which they do not know themselves, but rather, was within the heart
of Job. If they had nothing which could
help poor Job, silence would have been the best choice. Job rightly felt his friends were
condescending. They were talking down to
him. They were judging and belittling
him. When helping others, it is
important to establish a value which they have.
Patronizing and condescension never work. Establishing a relationship of mutual worth
is the foundation of trying to help them.
If we cannot do this, then it is better we say nothing at all!
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