Sometimes, a Pity Party is Needed

“Have pity upon me, have pity upon me, O ye my friends; for the hand of God hath touched me.” (Job 19:21 AV)

 

What a plea!  This plea from Job should have ended the pontification his three friends heaped upon him.  Their grasping at straws kind of counsel was misguided at best.  Cruel at worst.  This cry on Job’s part should have elicited a soft spirit and heart from his three friends.  Job’s cry should make even the hardest of hearts soften a bit to his circumstances.  It amazes me even after all they subjected him to, Job would still call them his friends!

Part of serving as a hospital chaplain is seeing patients with self-inflicted illnesses or injuries.  In fact, most of the time that is the case.  Or, as a chaplain one often comes across a patient who refuses to be comforted.  No matter the news or the encouragement, their life is always a dark cloud.  A chaplain might be tempted to cut a visit short in these types of circumstances.  Especially if they refuse to receive counsel or encouragement.  One of the hardest visits I had to make was with a lady who was suffering from emphysema.  It was near to impossible for her to breathe and she was slowly suffocating to death.  She had an estranged daughter who she refused to contact.  They had a falling out over an issue decades earlier.  I encouraged her to call her daughter.  Maybe the fact her life was coming to a close would soften the heart of her child.  What made this even worse was this daughter was her only child.  When she died, she would die alone.  After counseling with her, praying with her, and attempting to encourage her, nothing seemed to change.  I visited that patient several times that night.  Each time you could tell she was slipping a bit closer to eternity.  Her situation was caused by a lifetime of smoking.  A self-inflicted injury.  There was no change in her disposition.  No change in her attitude.  No change in her lack of desire to make it right with her daughter.  All because of wrong choices in her life.

This is how the four friends of Job felt.  But they were wrong.  His situation was not self-inflicted.  He did nothing to deserve what he was suffering.  Their counsel, although applicable to others, was not to Job.  They took no mercy on him.  They believed their attempts were valiant.  They thought that if they could get Job to repent of a sin or sins, then his situation would change.  However, even if there was sin, repentance would not get his ten children back.  Repentance would not gain his specific treasure back.  They were way off base.  What Job was seeking was not answers.  Only God had the answers.  What he was seeking was pity.  This means empathy without trying to find a cause or solution.  To simply sit with him, listen to him process the situation, and taking enough compassion on him so as to pray with him.  That is what a soul needs when they are in deep distress.  Even if it is self-inflicted, often at the point of loss, they are not prepared to hear the truth.  One must wait until after the shock of loss passes.  What they need is pity!