Grace Verses Sternness

“11 ¶  The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. 12 ¶  The king’s wrath is as the roaring of a lion; but his favour is as dew upon the grass.” (Pr 19:11-12 AV)

 

As is common in the book of Proverbs, two verses within close proximity seem contradictory.  However, the contradiction is actually meant to show a balance.  For instance, if it is glory for a man to pass over a transgression, the more we pass over, the more glory we project.  Therefore, to never confronting transgression would result in maximum glory.  We know that cannot be a possibility.  To do so would mean complete anarchy.  Sin would reign unabated.  This we have the next verse.  The king’s wrath is part of what he does and what he is.  If the king does not act against the transgressions of his subjects, crime and abuse would be out of control.  So, as Solomon does so often, he gives us two sides of the same principle in the hope we see the balance between the two.  To always act in wrath against any and all transgression shows no grace and creates a tyrant.  To do just the opposite and show grace no matter the transgression compounds the problem of sin.  There has to be a balance.

One of my sons was a stubborn student.  I taught them at home for few years and I had one son who fought to learn something he couldn’t get right off the bat.  He would throw temper tantrums.  He was stomp off and go to another room to pout.  He would sit at his desk with his arms folded and face downcast in rage at the work laid before him.  A parent who did not have patience and compassion for his son might beat him betimes until he succumbed to the work sitting before him.  A parent who experiences these episodes may take it personally.  They might whip the boy until he sat and did his work.  However, in doing so, it would only make the boy more frustrated and angrier that he wasn’t getting it.  The prudent thing to do would be to show sternness and not allow that behavior, but at the same time, spend individual time with him to overcome the roadblock to learning that was there.  This same headstrong child committed an absolute no-no in my house.  It was one of those things where there were no second chances.  I am not a man of rage.  Normally speaking.  But this incident was not a light thing.  For the first time, this child experienced the wrath of authority.

Passing over a transgression and wrath are the two opposites of reaction to transgression.  Most of our reactions are somewhere in the middle.  The balance can be found in what one hopes to accomplish.  Paul encourages us to correct our children in such a way they are not enticed to wrath themselves.  In other words, if our reaction to their sin produces the same emotion which we are exhibiting, it probably was no the right way to handle it.  If, on the other hand, our grace or wrath produces repentance and reconciliation, it was the right way to handle it.  God has given us the responsibility to raise young ones who are complex.  Some principles apply to cover any personality or situation.  It is not always black and white.  Each child is different.  Each temperament is different.  What works for one does not always work for another.  The overall principles are the same, but the way in which it is accomplished differs.  The wisdom is to know what to pass over a transgression and when to deal with it.