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“As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear.” (Pr 25:12 AV)

The previous verse is a difficult one to expound.  No one seems to agree on what golden apples in pictures of silver is supposed to be.  This verse is a bit easier.  Especially if you have a wife or daughter who takes pride in their jewelry.  Effective reproof is compared to fine jewelry.  The implication is reproof done correctly will be appreciated and welcomed upon the ear.  This takes skill, humility, and benevolence.  There is actually a balance here.  If the hearer is disobedient, then it doesn’t matter how skilled, humble, or compassionate the reprover is, the advice will not be welcomed.  If we share truth with those who are unwilling to hear, then we waste words.  Therefore, the first step should be to discern the nature of the ear.  If it is hardened, then words should not be spoken.  If it is teachable and leadable, then it should be shared in a skillful and humble way with compassion as the sugar that helps the medicine go down.  What we want to consider is how we approach someone who may need correction.  The result of how the hearer treats what we have shared will determine if we did so in the right way.

When my wife and I dated, and in our early married life, she was a great fan of 1828 jewelry.  It was really easy to shop for her because I knew exactly what she would appreciate.  Then it sort of went out of style.  It was hard to find.  Switching gears was not easy.  It was a practice of hit and miss.  Sometimes, I scored a home run.  Other times we would find ourselves in the returns line.  This makes it a bit more difficult in that I enjoy a certain type of jewelry while she enjoys other things.  I enjoy getting her necklaces.  She would rather have rings.  Boring!  My tastes didn’t matter.  If I wanted to please her, her desires mattered.  Even if I thought she would look much prettier in a necklace if it wasn’t what she wanted it would be returned.  When it comes to earrings, the simpler the better.  She has a few studs and other less ornamental pieces, but nothing extravagant or gaudy.  That which she does have, she is very proud to wear.  The set her father gave her is her favorite.  The point is if she received jewelry which she found to purpose for, or she didn’t want it, then it would be rejected.  If, on the other hand, she saw the practical purpose for it, or it held some beauty she appreciated, then she would treasure it.  Such is the case of reproof.

If the ear is not looking for reproof, the earring may as well be something out of a bubble gum machine.  Again, we can learn really fast how effective our technique is by how our reproof is received.  If a heart of gratitude is the response, then we have done something right.  If our reproof is applied with a heart that takes satisfaction with being corrected, then we have done something right.  Conversely, if our reproof is rejected off-hand, then we didn’t share our advice correctly.  Sometimes we blame the ear for what the mouth has done.  We blame the one corrected because we see what needs to be changed.  Perhaps it is more about the mouth that shared it than the ear that heard it.  This is Solomon’s point.  If reproof is not received and appreciated, then what good have we done.  We might have made ourselves feel better.  But have we really advanced the other individual?  Shop for words and attitude like I shopped for 1828 jewelry.  What would please the individual to be satisfied enough that they take the advice given?