There Is Only One

“My dove, my undefiled is [but] one; she [is] the [only] one of her mother, she [is] the choice [one] of her that bare her. The daughters saw her, and blessed her; [yea], the queens and the concubines, and they praised her.” (So 6:9 AV)

There is a raging debate as to the perfect design of marriage wherein it regards the specific person we are to marry.  We know from chapter eight that the bride has a younger sister.  We also know she has brothers.  So, when the husband says of his wife that she is the only one of her mother, he is not referring to her being and only child.  What he is saying is that she is the only one for him.  There were many to choose from.  But only one is the one that God has for him.  This debate to which I refer is whether God has designed one specific person for another.  I think the above passage is a proof of that.  Thinking of Adam, God only brought one to him.  He did not bring a selection.  He only brought one!  I can attest this to be true in my own life!  God brought to me the only one that would have been a perfect match.  I feel sorry for her that she is stuck with me.  But, hey, I wasn’t in control.

When my wife and I were dating, I had already been through two relationships prior to her.  It was obvious to me these ladies were not for me.  Not that they were flawed.  I just knew they were not for me.  When my wife and I dated, I tried to chase her off.  Not on purpose.  I was fighting the will of God.  Getting married, as much as I wanted to, was not something I wanted to jump into.  At least the closer it got, anyway.  The permanence and maturity of it is what scared me.  That, and my experience up then, was not purely enjoyable.  The ladies I dated prior were infatuated.  Once they got to know me, their connection to me waned.  That was the last thing I wanted.  So, subconsciously, I tested my future wife.  I let her see the ugliest parts of me.  One evening, she passed me a note in the middle of a class which read, “the LORD told me to stick with you anyway.”  Praise the LORD!  That convinced me.  She was not infatuated, and she knew what she was getting.  Going through pre-marital counseling, the preacher probed to see why we thought we needed to marry.  Our answers were the same.  It was God’s will!  Period.

When I conduct pre-marital counseling, the lesson I wrote accomplishes the same thing.  It forces the couple to look deep in themselves and each other to determine whether God has designed one for the other.  Do they compliment one another?  Do they understand the faults of the other? Have they prayed about it and what indication has the LORD given that they should marry?  The reason this is so important is that marriage is hard enough.  Without the assurance that God has put two together as part of His perfect plan, tempts one or the other to look elsewhere.  I believe one reason people get divorced is that they never entered marriage, considering the principle above.  They get married for many reasons.  Love, or lust, being the most often used reasons of them all.  But unless two people completely believe God has made them to be married, complimenting one another throughout life, then there will always be doubt.  God brought only one to Adam.  Solomon wrote his song regarding only one.  Not the other 999 wives and concubines.  There is only one.  There is no other.