Self-inflicted Wounds of the Talebearer

“The words of a talebearer [are] as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.” (Pr 26:22 AV)

At first glance, we might assume the object of the tale is the one injured the most.  However, the Hebrew word used here suggests it is the teller and the hearer who suffer the innermost injury.  The suggestion is the object of gossip is not hurt nearly as much as the teller and hearer of such words.  Gossip has a way of causing deep rooted damage.  Gossip, often shaped by envy, malice, pride, and the such cause damage because it stirs up within the teller and hearer deeper sins of the heart.  They cause the teller or hearer to ruminate on information, true or false, that they believe harms the object of their gossip, but in reality, hurts themselves a whole lot worse.  Talebearing may feel satisfying at first.  Given time, the habit of gossip leads to very serious damage to the soul.

The thing about gossip is the expected end never comes to pass.  The one telling the gossip and the one entertaining it often expect injury to occur to the object of their gossip.  Gossip seeks to elevate self beyond a realistic view of oneself.  Its intent is to limit one while exalting self.  Gossip is the lazy man’s way of building value in himself.  The reason it causes so much harm to the teller and the hearer is that it gives a false sense of accomplishment.  When the object of that gossip goes on with life and is successful in spite of it, the teller and the hearer must entertain feelings of injustice, envy, and anger.  The telling of a tale was intended to inflict injury that never came.  It never does.  In fact, the object of gossip benefits from the gossip.  He or she learns who can and cannot be trusted.  He or she knows where true loyalties lie.  The subject of gossip benefits from clarity.  Those who are prone to believe the worst always will.  Hearing and believing gossip is a matter of the heart.  Not a matter of the facts.

Talebearing may feel satisfying in the short run.  But in the long run, it does great harm.  We have all been the victims of talebearing.  Over time, we have come to realize the damage that we thought was done was actually far less than we initially believed.  It is the damage done in the soul of the bearer and hearer that is long-lasting and deep.  Most have been a talebearer from time to time.  It is often shrouded in what we would consider ‘spiritual speak’.  Prayer requests, counsel, etc can often lead to talebearing.  We must be careful.  The damage to our own souls is serious.  It is long-lasting.  It goes very deep.  The tongue is a prominent member.  Often seen as injurious to others, it can be more so to self.  Loss of credibility, fellowship, and even one’s own peace are the casualties.  Talebearing is often seen as a one-way street when considering the damage it can do.  But it is not so.  The subject of gossip is hurt if only in the short run.  The revealer of secrets and the receiver of secrets are hurt far worse.