Trouble of Soul

“Now is my soul troubled; and what shall I say? Father, save me from this hour: but for this cause came I unto this hour.” (Joh 12:27 AV)

The bible tells us that Jesus was tempted in all points as we, but did not sin.  Then we read His words above and notice that the Son of Man suffered angst over the will of the Father.  The word for ‘…troubled…’ means, “to agitate or disquiet”.  Upon further study, one would discover that this disquietness is not limited to one emotion.  It could be fear.  It could be anxiety.  For the Son of Man, we are careful to attribute emotional weakness in ways that would not pertain to Him.  So, being troubled will have to do.  The comforting thought is that if the Son of Man felt troubled at the revealed will of God and yet it was not sin, we too might be troubled and it not be sin.  Second, if we have no trouble of the revealed will of God, there might be a problem with the level of challenge we are willing to consider.  The old man will fight against the revealed will of God.  The step of faith God asks of us comes with risk.  There should be trouble over the revealed will of God.  Otherwise, we are not looking very deeply.

Just last night, some fellas and I were talking about repelling.  One guy had repelled down a wall years ago, and he expressed his desire to try it again.  Another had never tried it.  As a young man, I repelled at summer camp and also in the Niagara Gorge.  At summer camp, the wall was about thirty feet in the air.  We could either repel down the wall or over one of the sides that had no wall.  The thing about the side with no wall was the initial commitment.  One had to kick out and drop quickly or you would swing back and hit your forehead.  Before the instructor allowed you to free fall, you had to make several descents with the wall.  The feeling is the same whether you repel down a wall or repel without one.  It is the same feeling, but different degrees.  There is fear.  There is anxiety.  There is lack of confidence.  One feels exuberant, but at the same time, some trepidation.  Many different emotions are at play.  When one masters the skill of repelling, he might seek another challenge that brings back those same emotions conquered by adrenaline.  The degree of challenge is matched by the depth of trouble one might feel in his soul.

The same is true of the Christian life.  Our lives are a series of steps.  Some are designed to teach us obedience.  Others, trust.  Some require correction.  Others, challenges.  At each step, trouble of soul is present.  Life is difficult.  Trouble measures growth.  If there is no trouble, then we cease to grow.  One might think there will come a time when trouble of soul is no more a part of the life.  We live for years, learn to obey and trust, and then expect the need to learn both will cease.  We will finally have peace of soul.  At some magical age, trouble of soul is no longer an experience.  This is simply not the case.  Trouble of soul is a constant companion as long as we have breath in our lungs.  Each day is another day to learn something.  Each day is another day to be challenged with new obstacles.  With each passing day, month, or year, trouble of soul may be right around the corner.  But take courage.  The Son of Man was confronted with the will of God.  When He was, trouble of soul was his companion.  If the Son of Man suffered trouble of soul, so too shall we.  The good news is that in spite of trouble of soul, Jesus came out the victor.  So too shall we!  He is on our side!  He will give us strength.  He has shown us the way to overcome trouble of soul, and we too shall be victors!