Lonely Satisfaction

“The backslider in heart shall be filled with his own ways: and a good man [shall be satisfied] from himself.” (Pr 14:14 AV)

One writer makes the connection of separation.  Because of the colon, he sees that the good man will not be satisfied with the company or works of the backslider.  Rather, he will do good and because he does good and is separated from those who are not doing good, he will be satisfied with the company of one.  The writer takes from the two words, “from himself’, not to mean his alone is the source of all satisfaction.  That would be contrary to the word of God.  God alone is the source of our satisfaction.  Rather, what he suggests is that the good man, being alone, is satisfied because he is not suffering the consequences of keeping company with the backslider.  Loneliness can be a good thing.  Loneliness can be hard to deal with.  But sometimes, there is a protection there.

As a child, I was a loner.  In some ways, I still am.  The need to be affirmed by people is not high on my list of needs.  Support and comfort are not my driving force.  Sometimes, that is not a good thing.  Other times, it was an advantage.  Growing up, I only had a few close friends.  Never the popular type or the life of the party, my friend and I would find our own place and things to do.  There was never any more than three of us at any time.  We wouldn’t get in a lot of trouble, and the trouble we did get into was rather innocuous.  About the worst thing I think we ever did was damn up a storm sewer flow-way and backed up a creek into a neighborhood.  We were too young to know that would happen, so I plead the fifth.  I can count on one hand the number of close friends I had in my youth.  Not too many of them.  However, fifty years later, we still remember one another.  One such friend of mine I still keep in contact with.  The pressure to conform to a crowd was non-existent.  We had our adventures and the populace of grade school and middle school kids pretty much left us alone.  When High School rolled around, while the rest of the class was out partying on Friday and Saturday nights, we would work a job or strike out on another adventure.  Fishing was one of those adventures.  Being in a small group or alone kept us far from serious trouble.  Never once did smoking or drinking even remotely become a thing with us.  Nor did immorality.  Being a group of two or three kept us from a lot of heartache along the way.

I believe the writers that explained this proverb as such are correct.  This proverb is a bit of advice regarding peer pressure and friends.  If we don’t have inner character, we have nothing.  If that character forces us to be alone, then so be it.  If the saint cannot be satisfied with Christlikeness in the soul more so than companionship, he or she is going to suffer unfortunate and avoidable consequences.  It is better to live with yourself alone knowing that righteousness is the goal than having many friends who do not wish to love God.  That is Solomon’s advice to his children.  Learn to live alone.  If you cannot live alone, then you cannot live for Christ.  There are times when, as a child of God, there will be no one in your corner.  That is ok.  Stand your ground and find satisfaction that you can look yourself in the mirror and not grimace from what you see.  That is Solomon’s advice.  Learn to live with Self when Self is doing the right thing.  Even if it means you live alone.