“An hypocrite with [his] mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered.” (Pr 11:9 AV)
The meaning here is obvious. Gossip from a hypocrite will ruin a person’s life. At least temporarily. In the end, the truth will come out and the just will be restored. Here’s the thing. If we do not wait it out, more damage can occur. Not always. Nor is it prudent to always wait it out. But as a general principle, we should. Second, it is unfortunate that gossip is so easily believed. That is our nature. We tend to want to think the worst of others rather than the best. Shame on us. But here is our application this morning. To be delivered, the just must leave open the relationships that are temporarily damaged. Otherwise, there is nothing for him or her to be delivered to. We can be delivered from falsehood. But if we overreact to the hypocrite’s gossip, those predisposed to believe it will never change their mind. Those hurt by our reaction, even if found to be wrong in the end, may not wish to be restored. Therefore, the one injured must learn to forgive and have patience. He or she cannot hold a grudge. Otherwise, as I said before, there is no one to be delivered to.
Looking for an example, I have too many of them. But one will suffice. I served in an area of the country where people talk of others – a lot! The entire community has an opinion. I remember being somewhat new and having to go to a funeral. It was across a large river in a different county. The deceased did not attend my church, nor did I ever meet him. His sister or spouse was an attender. I cannot remember what relation they were. Out of respect for her, my wife and I traveled the twenty minutes across the river, into a new county, and around church folk that were not my own. What an experience! I dressed professionally as I was accustomed, but was not dressed as they typically were. I had all black with a white shirt and tie. Polished black shoes, a gray sport coat, and black slacks. To say that I was a bit over-dressed would be accurate. My wife and I arrived a bit toward the end of the viewing to avoid being a distraction. We knew the longer we were there, the more uncomfortable people might feel. I wasn’t from there. I was dressed like someone from an entirely distinct part of the country. I didn’t know anyone other than our attender. I didn’t speak with the right accent. The potential offense came when we stood in line to pass before the casket. A group of people noted me and began speaking loud enough for me to hear, but soft enough to be appropriate. One of them said, “That must be that new preacher from New York. I’ll bet he’s here to tell us how to do things.” That was one of the milder things I heard them say. I could have taken offense. But I did not. After all, given time, they would learn I am really no different from them.
Being in the ministry, you learn this very quickly. Grace is the much-needed gift! Being a leader of any kind means undue criticism will fly your way. You children, your students, your congregation, and maybe even your spouse, may have opinions that are not fully informed. Sometimes, they cannot be. There is information they are not entitled to, nor should they possess. Knowing how to possess your spirit as others is critical is necessary. Otherwise, survival in leadership becomes unrealistic. We cannot control what others say. Trying to defend ourselves may only make us appear guilty. The key is to keep a forgiving and patient heart. It time, they will learn to love you. We take offense way too easy. People are people. And lest we think it is an ‘others’ problem, we do the same. Unfortunately, we express our opinion of others too quickly. In the process, we may cause some damage. The forgiveness we hope our target will show toward us when we are proven wrong is the same forgiveness we need to express toward others. Chill out. It will be fine. Just to the right thing before the LORD and He will deliver you. The truth will come out. Those persuaded who possess an open mind will change it. Those who are bent on mean never will. God has your six. Let Him defend you. You just keep that heart of grace and joy. All will be well.